Diary of a Yoga retreat - Day 4 - pm class

DAY FOUR - AFTERNOON CLASS

We begin as normal - lying down on our back, strengthening postures. Immediately I feel exhaustion flood my body. I had a facial at lunch today and a manicure and I found myself so relaxed and I had a reasonable sized lunch and feelings of contentment swarmed throughout my body and don't want to leave me.

I find it hard to move, but I struggle through the class following my teachers instructions. Continuing to love the practice. These afternoon sessions are specialized, work on the abdominal muscles, strengthening the core of the body. It is good learning from my teaching point of view. It is fantastic learning. I realize that every time I come to class, every time I put my mat down it is preparation for teaching. A deeper understanding and a greater knowledge. I realize I could do this for the rest of my life. Every single time I place my mat on the floor I am giving my self the opportunity to learn and share with my students. A new lesson is available and that is very exciting for me. Im only 39 now, I will be 79 and still learning about this practice. That invigorates me, it makes me want to learn and study.

Coming to these kind of retreats is a way of meeting other people like myself that feel the same. Some people come because they want to try yoga. One woman has come from Cairns, Australia and she said she had been practicing yoga for 25 years. She must be only practicing 2 times a year yet here she is. Enjoying her time here, doing what she can. There is another little chick from Melbourne who is just great. I love her style. She has a self practice that could eat me up. It is beautiful to watch her though. It is these kind of people that really I love connecting with. These people have the hunger and the fire within for the yoga in the same way as I do. To meet with them and get to know them is really interesting. We are all so different. The Melbourne girl is a lawyer, working for Legal Aid. She is sincere and thorough and a big spunk. Very small, she moves like a ballerina. Lovely to connect with her and delightful to be a part of the bigger picture of the yoga world.

Our main connection is the yoga but we become friends. Through that love of the yoga. Beautiful boy from Byron, my beloved yoga friend is here and it is a comfort to look across the room and see him. I have a lot of love for him and that is easy, very effortless. Even though I feel as though I am just getting to know him. Yoga is an amazing force to connect with. Gratitude floods me again and I am happy.

It is worth everything that is necessary to come here and feel this good, this thankful and this alive.

Even though I am feeling exhausted I still find myself invigorated. We sit down and start to sing.

The most difficult thing for me with the yoga is singing. They say that the singing is a direct call to God and I believe this to be true. Even though my voice is not perfect (we know it is not, but it is getting better). I believe that God hears me. I believe that I have a direct line to God and he likes my singing. Strangely enough my teacher likes my singing. I have never seen anyone with more faith in my voice. Her faith gives me the courage to actually let a sound out of my lips. Everytime we sing I studiously close my eyes incase I catch anyone watching me sing. Sometimes I open them and my teacher is grinning at me. This kills me and I quickly close them. Don't look, don't look, I think. She is always looking though. That is what she does, she is the teacher.

God is listening and she is looking. Doesn't feel as though there is much space to hide, from myself at all. Hmmm. I am singing and we go on.

It is a beautiful practice and I love it, even when I am tired, even when I am exhausted, even when I could actually have a snooze. I love it. I found the right thing, I am in the right place. I know that this is something that I will do for the rest of my life. I can feel it in my guts. My heart and soul breathe it. I will be an 80 year old granny practicing yoga. My grandchildren will all think I have a beautiful chanting voice because by then I may have been able to get past myself and sing from the heart, maybe"